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Maid on Netflix

This month is Domestic Violence Awareness month. I’ve worked with many people in domestic violence situations and it is the most tricky, sad, and confusing maze that exists. It’s something that deserves the upmost respect and compassion. Anyone in this situation is struggling on a level most of us will never understand.

Try living with your life being threatened, spread out over a period of time, when you have children to support and raise. Many people end up in therapy with PTSD after a five minute threat to their life like a car accident. What about months or years of an undefined, intense threat in the air which might not be obvious enough to fully claim it but you still know it’s there? “I know they will do something, I just don’t know what.”

I don’t want to give any spoilers but one of the things you learn from Maid is that most victims leave on an average of 7 times before they finally get out for good. It’s a process. Leaving is treacherous. Leaving is the time when most perpetrators become violent at their worst level so a victim knows they need a good plan, support and a backbone made of absolute steel. The perpetrator may try to do something to hurt them, their job, their child, their relationship with their parents, etc.

On the flip side, perpetrators will turn up the charm, luring their victim back in with promises to finally be the partner they’ve always wanted. They will gift, help, complement, donate time, go to therapy or full week long marriage workshops; anything to get the victim to let them back in. Perpetrators don’t go quietly into the night as we all wish they would.

Maid shows how anyone at any time can be a victim. Domestic violence is not what domestic violence sounds like. It doesn’t look the way your mind projects it to look and the victims are not the people you project them to be. ANYONE CAN BE A VICTIM. I’ve seen that the most assertive, smart and resilient people can be victims precisely because they see themselves as capable and insightful human beings. THAT MAKES YOU VULNERABLE.

I’ve been on Facebook during the #metoo movement when women would post things like, “I was a victim, too, but I punched him in the —- and therefore he left me alone”. The idea is that she thinks she’s so badass there’s no way she can be a victim. THOSE PEOPLE ARE THE ONES WHO END UP VICTIMS. No one is exempt and the idea that you couldn’t be a victim makes you vulnerable to not seeing it.

We all deserve safe, respectful, kind relationships, not ones where you have to walk on a razor blade to survive.

Maid is binge-worthy so get your chores done, get some popcorn, sit down and veg. I highly recommend it!

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Free Clear Mind Therapy provides in-person therapy in Fishers & Indianapolis and online therapy across Indiana. Specializing in anxiety therapy for teens, adults, and kids.

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