14074 Trade Center Dr #145, Fishers, IN 46038, United States | 740 E. 52nd St., Indianapolis, IN 46205
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How Anxious People Are Unique

I’ve had clients who only began to talk to me when I didn’t look at them. Eye contact is too much sometimes! When I closed my eyes and kept them that way, we could study what happened in their body. Something inside them would settle down. How interesting! “What, then, is the anxiety saying?” Maybe I’d open my eyes again as an experiment and they’d notice what happened to the anxiety. What’s it saying?

Often times if I kept my eyes closed they would tell me about their life. They also struggled with being seen in the hallways, the lunchroom or during gym class. Telling me about it without me evaluating them was cathartic, they said. Then we could really look – what is so bad about being seen? We could be curious about it and explore.

Others feel anxious when I don’t look at them. So we study that. I look at them and they notice how much better they feel. I look away and they get anxious. We study what happens each way. This is what mindfulness is.

When my daughter was in first grade, she was invited to a birthday party. I remember how nervous she was as she’d never been to this house before. So I went inside with her and told the mom, “She’s a little freaked out right now.” The mom said very nonchalantly, “Why is she freaked out?” As if anxiety hadn’t occurred to her in this situation. I was confused.

I said, “She needs a chance to warm up.” I wondered, “Did the other kids just rush right in and start playing?” I doubted it.

Once she warmed up, she began to play with the other kids and forgot it was a new situation.

Have you ever had to explain your child’s sensitive temperment to other people who just didn’t seem to get it?

The great thing about people who take awhile to warm up is they also tend to notice everything around them. They are excellent observers! They dive deeply into lots of topics. They can also be extremely imaginative.

So give yourself, and your sensitive nature, a break.

Sensitive people make wonderful writers, teachers, artists, empathizers and creatives.

They can be very conscientious as they plunge into the depths of things. They are wise enough to know not to rush into new situations without fully orienting to them first.

Be gentle with yourself. 🙂

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Free Clear Mind Therapy provides in-person therapy in Fishers & Indianapolis and online therapy across Indiana. Specializing in anxiety therapy for teens, adults, and kids.

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