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Divorce Care Tips

Divorce is one of the most stressful things you will go through in your lifetime. Since we help many people going through divorce, we have collected a list of tips we’d like to share with you. First and foremost, gather every bit of help you can through books, YouTube videos, support groups and, of course, individual counseling.

Tips to Survive A Divorce

When you look at the official list of stressful events, divorce at the top next to “death of a loved one”. It’s one of the hardest things people endure in their lifetime. It’s also the time when they might not take care of themselves because they are too overwhelmed.

As therapists, we hear themes and we decided to make a list of things we’ve seen help our clients.

  1. Don’t try to represent yourself without professional advice. Many people say, “I don’t want anything financially from him/her” because they feel guilty about leaving the relationship. This is a mistake. Make sure you get the advice of an attorney who knows Indiana’s laws related to divorce. You are going to live a long time on this planet and you need to take care of your future, as well as your children’s futures. There will be a day when you no longer feel guilty and wish you would’ve planned better.
  2. Know the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines. There are rules about how long a young child can be away from their primary caregiver (overnights, etc.). Don’t let anyone twist your arm and make you feel bad. Just take a look at the guidelines and work from there. https://www.in.gov/courts/rules/parenting/index.html
  3. Kids are resilient when it comes to divorce as long as the parents stay in their role as an assertive, in control parent. Be confident and secure. Your children will feel also feel confident and secure because you are helping them regulate. Let them know when and how they will see the other parent. Use positive phrases like, “You are going to have two bedrooms now!” or “You can have more one-on-one time with me/Daddy.” Keep the discussions light without minimizing how they might be feeling.
  4. Find a divorce support group where you can talk to other people going through the same things. If you are too scared to walk into a support group, pretend you are doing it like a business person who needs to gather important data. The information and emotional support you can gain from other people in similar situations is priceless. They know the lawyers, the court system, the shortcuts, the books to read, the things to do to get your mind off of it. If you can’t go to one in person, go to one online. Join a Facebook support group. Just do a search for Divorce Support Group.
  5. If you can’t be around your ex without being triggered, have someone else facilitate drop off and pick up. You can do the drop off and pick up in a public place where it’s hard to get into a discussion. If you don’t want to talk to them via text or phone because they are harassing you, don’t. If they continually text you, only talk to them if it’s about your child. If they are stirring drama, put them on “do not disturb”. Find a way to maintain your peace of mind by not engaging with them.
  6. Seek counseling so the particulars of your situation can be known and taken into account when it comes to any of these tips. No one has ever gone through a divorce until the time when they go through it. We aren’t born knowing how to do it. A counselor is someone who can give you a bird’s eye view and also use information they’ve gleaned from others (lawyers, court system, other clients, etc.) 
  7. Remember, it is going to be better soon. This is a transition period and it is temporary. All the work you are doing now will lead to (much!) greener pastures. There are many people who’ve stayed in bad situations because they thought the pain would never end. BUT IT DOES!  We are here to help you get through it.


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At Free Clear Mind, we provide a safe environment for you to identify and work through the things that are causing you the most anxiety. Our therapists are sensitive counselors who understand sensitive people. With over 25 years of experience, we warmly invite you into a comfortable space where you can let go of the burdens you are holding and speak freely about your feelings.

A free clear mind is the first step.

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Free Clear Mind Therapy provides in-person therapy in Fishers & Indianapolis and online therapy across Indiana. Specializing in anxiety therapy for teens, adults, and kids.

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